Loss

May 8th 2015

I lost a friend to breast cancer today. I am sad. Period just sad. I should be mad at this freaking disease but anger will not bring her back.  You see her and I said a while back that this cancer thing is a “crap shoot”. We both know other women that should have died from the disease but have survived and are still living. …. and the others that have died with many reasons as to why they should have also survived.  I’m talking about the staging, the surgeries and the treatments. Sometimes it all just does not make sense. Gina knows what I’m talking about. She had to suffer. That makes me sad. SAD.

I remember when she told me about the recurrence.  I was on the treadmill at the gym and she said “Sue…It’s back and it’s everywhere.” My body went limp, and I felt this weird rush go through me. What do you say to someone when they tell you that? You say things like…are you sure?…what other tests are you getting…blah.blah.blah.

It was back alright! 

She was one of my “cancer buddies” that understood that if I had a headache for more than 2 days…I would call her up and tell her I think it’s back ….I have brain cancer. We analyzed why our liver enzymes were elevated. We said we would try more yoga because maybe that would help with the joint stiffness. We were concerned about our chemo brains…yet laughed about it.

We both would always end up laughing at the end of each call.  We had camaraderie that other friends did not have……She understood.

 I will never forget the time Bruce Face timed me from the hospital (she worked in labor and delivery at the hospital) and Gina was in the background in her scrubs and she peered into the phone and said “look I’m you today”  I’m sue morris”…….I was laughing so hard….She was wearing the short brown wig I gave her and you know what ….. she did look like me, especially from the side.  We were both fair-skinned, same height and same weight……so it was really funny. I was so glad I gave her that wig.  

You see she had that way about her…..She made you laugh!!! That’s how I choose to remember her. I am smiling now as I write about that. I hope that she too is smiling now.

May your soul be at rest my friend….I will miss you!

I wil miss you my friend!!
I wil miss you my friend!!

XO-S

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